reioka:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

densoro:

trelesire:

martianbees:

creed-of-corruption:

island-delver-go:

secretsinthemargin:

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”

Yo. This woman is published.

She wrote “dick aneurysm”. That happened.

Follow your dreams.

Lucipires (demon vampires)
sneople (snake people)

I HAVE QUESTIONS

There are tears running down my face I am laughing so hard but I want to read these so bad

From now on instead of orgasm I’m gonna think ‘dick aneurysm’ and of course because it’s me my brain is gonna shorten it to ‘dickeurysm’ someone help me

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