it’s interesting how one of the very first things adam thinks about right after he kisses ronan for the very first time is the fact that he’s leaving the state in a couple months. because that just speaks volumes about how adam knows that if he does this, if he starts this with him, there isn’t going to be anything casual about it. it’s going to be real and important and lasting. and when he does leave, he’s either going to have to break up with him, which he doesn’t want, which isn’t really an option, or he’s going to have to come back to the place he wanted to leave forever. and that’s why ronan’s the difficult choice — not because he’s a boy, or because adam doesn’t care deeply about him — but because he’s all-or-nothing, because there’s no room for doubt if he decides he wants this.
(The Raven King – Chapter 42)
and then we have adam waking up at the barns the morning after — adam who’s been dreaming of leaving this state his entire life and is so close to finally getting out — realising that now he has a reason to come back. he’s made the difficult choice and it’s not so difficult after all — because he’s been looking back at him all these months, because he’s been feeling it too. it’s always been real. and if that’s not love, then i don’t know what is.
queerlybeloveds 