queerlybeloveds:

y’all imagine a world in which i didn’t start crying in random situations that Are Literally Not Rationally Upsetting At All as a result of abuse- and trauma-altered neural pathways, imagine how much less humiliating my life would be

like, it’s very exhausting to be reminded that trauma never really ends!! and i’m someone who’s coping pretty well; i’m in regular therapy, i’m able to be fairly functional in my day to day, i’m medicated, i’m living somewhere i feel safe, i’m able to hold down a job i enjoy.

and still, trauma pops up. and as soon as i think i’m familiar with it, a new aspect of it rears its head and i have to dive into that and figure it out and develop new coping mechanisms.

i’m fine and don’t really wanna talk about it rn, just needed to vent. i wish my childood hadn’t fucked with my brain chemistry so dramatically.