Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher Walter White is an art teacher and instead of cooking meth he starts taking hentai commissions on DeviantArt
someone: haha british people chewna instead of tuna
british person: oh yeah well americans shoot up schools did i mention that americans shoot up schools? cause that’s an appropriate thing to joke about and not a huge problem! lol #joaks #clapback
So, great news! All mammal milk (including that of humans) is modified, nutrient dense sweat!
Monotremes (like the echidna and platypus) do not have specialized nipples but instead have patches of skin that ‘sweat’ milk to keep their eggs moisturized, and then to feed their young, which lap it off of their uh…skin.
Paleontologists think that this feature probably evolved from either non-mammalian synapsids or early mammals keeping their eggs nice and supple (instead of the hard-shelled eggs of birds) and eventually the childes just…. started….licking it, and I guess it helped them out nutritionally.
Therians (Mammals that have nipples; placentals and marsupials) have glands/nipples specifically for the purposes of nursing their young with this funky modified sweat we call milk, but yeah. It’s sweat. It’s funky nutritious sweat.
Lately I’ve been doing this thing where when men give me shit at my job, I choose to instead speak to their wives/girlfriends/female counterpart. I had a dude today try to yell at me and I ignored him and instead spoke in a very level voice to his wife instead. He literally stomped his feet like a fucking toddler and said “stop ignoring me! I’m talking!” And his wife said “George, please use a quieter voice. You’re embarrassing me.”
You are a genius and I’m using this
Lol I learned it from my mom. She does this all the time and eventually the guy either sulks off somewhere or adjusts his behaviour and THEN she’ll address him. I did this with my friends puppies when I was training them and it works the same tbh
Whenever a married couple calls in escalated, I always address whichever one seems the most rational. 9/10 it’s the wife. Usually, the husband gets cut out of the conversation until we’re done.
Memorable quotes:
“She’s explaining it to me now and you were wrong.”
“Honey, stop talking so the nice lady can help us.”
“Why don’t you go have some coffee while Amelia and I figure this out? Hmmmm?”
“I understand it and I will explain it to you later. Let me get this taken care of.”
“I understand, sweetie, can you explain it to my husband real quick? [aside] Now, you listen to this lady and don’t interrupt!”
Calm wives in the face of their overemotional husbands are a customer service lifeline.
I was working with a seagull and I said “as someone in Wildlife I know I should never anthropomorphize animals or hold them to any human moral standard, but seagulls are capable of and regularly knowingly commit evil” and the vet tech with me said “no yeah that’s true.”
queerlybeloveds 