pdxjenni:

emmeetslawschool:

strenuousobjector:

links-hipster-scarf:

oh-mother-of-darkness:

oh-mother-of-darkness:

Who wants to hear my new conspiracy theory about lawyers

1. Can’t legally lie, but they trade in half-truths and misleading language
2. Obsessed with contracts
3. Required to follow the letter (but not the spirit) of the law
4. Really good at exploiting loopholes
5. Range from semi-helpful to openly malevolent

Conclusion?? Faeries

I am a paralegal and this is all true

I really don’t want to agree with this

6. Difficulty relating to normal humans, frequently sees normal humans as inherently inferior

7. No one wants to need to deal with one, but everyone knows they are sometimes the only way to solve your problem

8. Reputation for over-the-top, sometimes destructive revelry

9. Willingly participate and further arcane and unnecessary rituals foreign to the outside world (does anyone else have a better explanation for why the bar exam still exists?)

10. If you spend too much time near and around them, the weirdness eventually wears off on you (spouses and children of attorneys are weird, too)

SO. ATTACKED. RIGHT. NOW.